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    • pabila jiwa mula rasa tertekan....

    Thursday, February 18, 2010

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    owh, entry ini tiada kaitan dengan sesiapa melainkan dengan diri sendiri sajer so no speculation about sape yg merosakkan jiwa raga ini. rasa lama giler dah tak jejak kaki ke lab kesayangan tapi kalo nak g, lum ade work plan wat masa ini. aku plak jenis yg kalo sesaje nak g xde keje, mesti lah akan mengalami gangguan kebosanan yg membawa kepada kemalasan. jadinya, sudah dekat dua minggu usaha menulis tesis aku diteruskan kat rumah terchenta dengan harapan ada hasil. yang jadi masalah nya bila duduk melakar draf apa nak tulis, apa nak karang... semua ok, otak boleh jalan. tapi bila dah buka word n nak start menjadi penulis yg berjaya, semua tak menjadi. puas dah memotivasikan diri, rehat g gerak2 lam rumah, tgk tv, dgr lagu sambil melalak kuat2 ala Jac Victor... semua effort tu mcm tak ke mana.. it all went to the drain kate omputeh.. disbbkan terlalu memikirkan semua benda alah ni ( alamak, ini bukan benda alah.. ini MAHA PENTING) sakit kepala ku datang semula.. jgn jadi migrain suda. disebabkan terlalu fokus nak wat tesis, font entry ni pun guna Times..arghhh. 2,3 hari ni lagi lah teruk... tetiba rasa dada berat je.. susah nak nafas... tak pasal-pasal rasa jantung berdebar2... pastu jiwa tertekan n rasa sgt sgt rimas.. aku tak nak stress ni smua dtg melanda, aku tau xbaik utk kesihatan--utk kulit, soul dan especially kepala aku yg senang migrain ni.. waaahh.. ni pun jguk2 kejap blog nak cool kan kepala hotak ni. dah la nak baca segala rujukan jurnal lam English, tiba2 kena tulis tesis BM plak. apakan daya... ikut jerlah peraturan yg berkuasa. bgs gak guna BM ni tapi camne nak dapatkan term sains yg hebat dalam BM? yakin la xde kan... susah susah.... kepala pun jadi pusing. duduk menonong depan laptop, satu keja pun tak jalan.. aku perlukan kekuatan, keazaman dan tekad wat masa ni, and maybe wisdom and genius kot.... aku tak nak muda2 dah de tekanan darah tinggi... minta2 dijauhkan.. ..

    p/s: leh ke kalo upah org wat tesis aku ni??

    dream a little dream of us...

    Thursday, February 11, 2010

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    dream a little dream of us--is what Giffe and Princess have in..hmm mind?

    im back!! not that im going anywhere duuh....

    having a superb birthday weekend which in the end, i proudly announce that im goin to stay at home (coz she is so damn lazy after tonnes of good foods) and do some writing and analysis bfr kick off to the lab again after CNY holiday... owh, pinky promises to myself : )

    when i say superb birthday, it doesn't mean a grand celebration but more like happy moments spend with someone dear. hopping from shop to shop, flipping books in the MPH, Borders and Kinokuniya. food tasting as usual @Midval, BTS and KLCC... living in a life that feel like a dream.

    watched Tooth Fairy--laugh a lots, think a little, there are values to learn if you are a good listener. surprises i got this year?...a lots of friends still remember my birthday. it doesn't matter if they just wish in social network..it's the thought that count aite.. birthday gift? .. sure and a memorable ones lagi tu...

    remember the say--beauty is pain-- an ugly truth definitely.. my 1st bday gift made my feet blister. the wedges with blue lace and brown ribbon, sitting in the shop calling loudly at me how could i ignore it? and him, so full of love..how could he disappoint me by not buying the cute wedges for me?... haha but the truth is, the minute i change to the new pair of wedges i knew that it's goin to be a battle to walk in it and at the same time maintain my sweet smile. yeah, beauty is pain.. i may walk like a lady-manner but that is becoz the shoes hurt :( but still, thankss so much for d gift my dear!

    almost almost the same dress i crave for....

    love the wedges shoes, love me wearing it, love you buying it =)

    did i mention how much i eat during these few days? a lotsss of tasty food.. and no regret at all.. eat when you still can, but never went overboardlah.. ate Ikan Pari bakar in Oasis, taste not so good compare to the last time we ate there but still---NYUMMY. the next day, lunch at Gasoline BTS.. nice place to lepak but if you are starving.. dont ever pijak the shop. the service is super slow... waited like almost 30mins for the food and 1hrs + for my drink>which end up tak dtg at all. what a lousy services.. not to mention that 1 of the food we order pun never come... rupa2nya tak ada catat dlm bil pun. hais.. nsb baik i tak kempunan.. huhu. Dinner @chilli's..the best =)

    too much too much for a small tummy

    ::birthday wishlist (as if some1 gonna buy me)

    Friday, February 5, 2010

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    hey hey... it's another weekend and my b-day is in less than 48hours. oh man, i feel forever sweet 16 but i rather prefer always 21 - the legal age for everything under the law.. hehe, anyhow i am still very young at heart ya. i dont think there will be any surprises for the day coz friends are moving on with their own life after graduation and im the only one stuck here, achieving not so great in my life... and not like previous years, i am so broke that i cant even afford to buy myself a cheap gift.. so pity of me aite.. it's also a punishment for not doing my research on time and that is suck! oh ya.of coz there are few things that money could buy for a gift but the one i desperately want is.. a MSc, so very valid that i can go hunt for any job i can get...grrr blame me for being so damn lazy and full of myself.
    surely, to comfort the eyes and feeling.. i've decided to put a wishlist here (not that anyone will buy for me, i know) just for a treat for my beautiful eyes ;)hey no harm rite people, at least when i get some money i'll remember to redeem back my backdated bday gift from me of coz.. haha, that's so lame of me. enough of crap, lets see what i have in my pretty dreamy mind. i am so in love with Fossil's watch..here is one with butterflies and another one below is so multifunction-a watch n bracelet
    and havent i told you that i am crazily in love with flowery dresses? call me crazy but seem that my wardrobe is occupied with them. dresses--where can i wear them to?? huhu... and there is one particular dress i saw in Mines few weeks ago. OMG..it really called me to come and have a look at it but dang the boutique! why why mark-up the price?? so very expensive and with that quality of cotton, no one will buy i bet. bukannya your kedai is so very branded like Topshop okei... eh, yup i saw Kate Moss's petite line.. the mini dresses are sooooo cool and chic. i want!!! manage to google this image only but tell you, the one i want is even nicer, black in colour with bright pink small flower pattern.. arghh now that im thinking of it, i will not able to sleep tonite =p

    O_O......i want...

    the list that goes on... all i want for my birthday are:
    *peace for the nation
    *my country to be a better in term of social,economy,politic,education and unity&tolerant
    *good health and jobs for those i loves--family and friends
    *hard determination, dedication and creativity to create my own future
    *upgrade my lousy digital camera to DSLR?
    *a new handphone perhap?
    *lots of new good books!! hints: Mitch Albom's Have a little faith, Twilight saga collectible set, Paulo Coelho, Jodi Picoult, Neil Gaiman.......


    ~nota-nota kehidupan

    Wednesday, February 3, 2010

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    ....telah terjadi dalam kehidupanku selama 10 hari tidak mencatat di blog ini:

    nOTa 1: B.O.S.A.N
    - hari-hari pun sama. pg lab bosan, kat rumah bosan.. weekend tak kuar pun
    bosan.....camne lah hilangkan kebosanan ni..

    nOTa 2: P.O.K.A.I
    - ekonomi ku makin merundum.. pe lah nak jadi. siapa nak bg duit kat aku weh??

    nOTa 3: M.A.T.I
    - mummy hamster dah mati.. wuwuwuwuuwuu.. gila sedeh tahap melampau.rasa
    regret sangat tak jaga dia baik2 =(

    nOTa 4: G.E.R.A.M
    - ini mmg tahap geram n mencarut2 dengan someone yang gedik... jaga ko...
    ngegeh!!!!!!!!!

    nOTa 5: P.L.A.N
    - takde lagi untuk minggu ni.. kate bday coming soon tapi xde plan.. huhu

    nOTa 6: H.A.P.P.Y
    - you and my gorgeous friends are the reasons for me to be happy =)

    nOTa 7: P.U.N.T.O.N.G
    - all in summary.

    ...take me out tonight!!

    Saturday, January 23, 2010

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    Lyrics | The Smiths - There Is A Light That Never Goes Out lyrics

    ~ada apa dengan stesen komuter ~

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    sedar tak sedar.. dah hari Sabtu balik. mesti ramai yang outing weekend ni kan.. hmm, minggu ni aku duk rumah je. tengah dok termenung staring at my doom's door, ingat nak tgk citer Hindi kat TV3 tapi ada majlis pemakaman Sultan Johor yg mangkat smlm pulak.. dah buhsan-buhsan ni mula lah nak recalled weekend yg penuh aktiviti makan-makan dan movie marathon dengan seseorang. rindu laa plak dgn kesesakan manusia di mana-mana, padahal kalo dah berada dalam situasi sebenar bukan main lagi pening & rimas ngan lautan manusia...

    haa... nak buka cerita ada apa dngan stesen komuter, bukan filem Ada Apa dengan Cinta ek.. apa-apa pun, itulah 1st indonesian film aku minat. sbb Nicholas Shahputra mmg hensem and berlakon pulak cam selamba dan cool habis =) Back to the point, apa yg hebat sgt ngan stesen KTM ni sampai nak buka crite? well well well.. ni hasil observation aku spjg kesetiaan aku menggunakan public transport ni. Seperti diketahui, Komuter ni durasi perjalanan dan destinasi dia jauh sikit berbanding ngan LRT dan Monorail, maka secara tak langsung nye, byk lah masa kita spend duduk or berdiri bersesakkan kat dalam perut mesin tu. Nak dijadikan modal untuk aku yg suka observe human behavior, adalah tempat yg paling best lah. Macam-macam ragam manusia kita nampak kan lam ktm ni. Yg baik dan busuk hati, yg diam dan yg ingat ktm tu bapak dia punya.. etc etc..

    yang baik hati, bila de golongan tua atau yg kurang upaya berdiri, dorang ni lah yg akan bg tempat duduk dorang kata insan-insan yg memerlukan kan ni. yg busuk ati? penah seseorang ni (yg memang muda belia dan sihat tubuh badan) g duduk pla    k tempat yg org baik ati ni offer kat org tua. pe kes??? nak kate hari batu, batu pun leh pecah.. hati titanium kot. Ada plak yg suka pasang lagu kuat-kuat, sorry to say.. salu nyer lagu ala-ala filem Hindustan yg berkumandang ye.. nsb baik dia tak bergelek terus kat lam gerabak tu. dah lah sesak, macam2 bau, ketenangan telinga pun tergugat, memang bikin angin satu kepala je. Kes pick pocket? haiz... Syukurlah aku x penah kena tapi pernah jadi saksi laa.. Ada sorang minah ni terjerit2 kata hp dia hilang. dia letak kat poket belakang sluar di.Pastu dia miskol hp, si pick pocket mmg kat depn dia je.. pe lagi, dia cekak leher mamat pencuri tu, dia jerit2 satu tren. memang babak 18sG lah.. mamat tu mmg salah pick victim, sbb minah tu ngan rambut kaler kalah Paris Hilton, nampak sangat rock dia.. wa caya lah sama lu ;p.. dia mmg dah nak sepak terajang pun mamat tu, tapi nsb baik ada para pakcik yg menenangkan dia. huhuhu.. sampai skrg aku terfikir-fikir apa lah jadi kat si pick pocket tu. Salah tu mmg lah sbb mencuri, tapi biar lah bg handle kat polis. jgn nak amik tindakan sndiri.. tu serba sedikit karenah manusia yg aku jumpa... kiranya, it's a small gerabak full with life lessons if we try to be sensitve to see more than the surface.

    next, ni yang serious sikit.... 1st benda kita buat sampai kat stesen KTM, kita beli tiket kan..semua orang tau mana nak pergi. kalo tak tau tu, sbb kita lum     decide atau tgh tgu master mind bgtau idea nak g mana. pastu, kite tgk platform mana satu nak tgu tren kite tu. kalau salah platform, alamatnya salah naik tren lah nanti.
    let see how am i gonna applied this one to our life... kalau lah hidup ni sesenang naik turun komuter. Yang mana arah tuju hidup kita, kita dah tau awal-awal lagi. tinggal nak jump in the wagon je.. alangkah..... Tapi yelah, kalau hidup macam naik train, it's just one way ticket lah.. mana boleh nak patah balik kan :) What shoud you do, if suddenly you have to chose between 2 platform, to lots of different destination? and it's totally the opposite ways? Your mind tell you what you should do, but your heart betray the logic... the verdict is.. I pondered, the blood rush to my heart, my face... what should i do what should i do.... i've boarded the train that my heart told me to... but i don't know where its gonna bring me to. can i board halfway and get down, wait for other train to other destination? this, i don't know and i don't even dare to dream about it.

    ada apa dengan stesen komuter? ada destinasi yang berbeza, arah yang berlawanan.. one decision effect the other. ada gerabak yg penuh, tak selesa tapi menuju ke tempat yg hendak dituju. ada gerabak yg kosong, sejuk dan selesa tapi malangnya bukan destinasi dituju. what ever it is, tepuk kepala dapat jawabannya.


    Love, Hope and Faith. The greatest of all is LOVE.

    ~......have you ever..... ~

    Wednesday, January 20, 2010

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    have you ever feel the rush of joy or happiness that can't be describe by words? i did and pretty amazing when the emotion triggered not by what others do for you but what you do for other people, no matter how tiny or huge the things indeed. let says, when i look at my fellow young brothers and sisters unwrapped their Christmas gift -the cheapest it may be- but for sure a smile will shine from their innocent face, unable to control their contentment. And.. aahh yess, that's one fragment of moment.. their joy spread to me, warmed my heart and sometimes my tear-ducts, such an emotional person i am. how i wish i could freeze that seconds, extract it and put into small glass vial..as the old says-as a saving for a rainy day =) how about when you do something for your own good? definitely warmer feeling and longer effects of happiness i may say. like when i finally got little piece of result for my research.. seriously, it was nothing much but when i remember that for ever i am always a failure at doing it... and taa raa boommm!!! i am yellow with sunshine today =) =) =)

    my little cousin was so delighted that she don't even talk a words after opening the gift
    ever feeling so bluey that no matter what you do, you just can't shake the feeling off? hmm.... when that happened to me.. the cloudy day, the mellow songs, the quietness of surrounding, coldness and almost everything makes me down, blue...how i hate it but it have its own goodness. why? just because it's negative, it doesn't meant that we have to immense deeply into it.. usually i try to look at the brighter side of it. so much of an optimistic that everything have to be in that view huh.... taking a slow walk in my campus especially after rain fall, still in down mood while anticipating that RapidKL will come no sooner that 1hour time.. nothing sound good eh.. but all those green aged trees with its light pink flowers--is like a magic--that gave some kind of serenity to the soul and refreshing to the eyes O_0.. or perhaps sending text messages to old friends, having them replying your text will definitely decrease the negative aura..



    and lastly..have you ever been in love? yes, right.. in love with God's love, with a person or multiple person, artists, movies, songs or anything..sure each and every one of normal human being have come across this feeling, more than you could remember ; ) love-->makes people do all kind of things, stupid or wise. just like when Harry Potter mania crash the world, the fans or the lovers of this book series will camp outside the bookstore, waiting for the new book release day, hoping that they will be the first to read it. Then come the Twilight Saga madness, suddenly everyone is in love with vampires (oh no, Count Dracula is not so scary nowadays), in fact they are almost like the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend materials you ever dream of... Talk about songs peeps! I raise my hands to admit that i am the kind who will keep on playing my current crush songs over and over and over again--until i move on to the next song my heart fall in love with but from time to time.... i'll always came back to the previous songs.how to perfectly describe the emotion call love-->i believe that.. is in the opinion and matter of heart for those who involved. It's like ecstasy..feeling high up in the sky (caution: you may fall down and the pains are unbearable) It's like the worst heart attack.. you can't breath right, you got constant fast pace heart thumping beat. Sometimes, love is like making a cup of tea and not remove the teabag..leaving it soak in the hot water.. light taste of tea turns to perfect and while you sit and savors sipping.. damn, it started to taste bitter, the tea turns dark.. you want to throw it away but you still remember its sweet taste to your mouth.. And you say to yourself>> ok, i'll save this tea, add some hot water, some sugar or maybe milk>> end up we have milk tea after bitter tea. Love of a friend, if it is genuine.. is the most treasured love. They love you just the way you are, criticizes you good or bad because that is what we really need. Even though long after you separated from each other, the moment you see or hear each other again... everything stay the same. Hmm... maybe the friendship love between Tom & Jerry, Oggy & the Cockroaches and TweetyBird & Sylvester the Cat is the most interesting of all..
    lovers of vampires, werewolves and zombies?

    Tom and Jerry, classic..

    walking the love



    Love, Hope and Faith.. the greatest of all is Love.